Everything is made of choices. The way societies work comes from heaps of choices. I'm not only talking the big names, though they've made some influential choices. I'm talking of collective choices from everyone. Each of our choices influences our personal worlds. Do you smile back or look away from the person who meets your eye while passing you on the sidewalk? What book are you reading? Or, are you reading a book, between books, against books? What's for lunch? Hug this person or not, or does this person want a hug? Listen or speak? Decide who decides what is right and wrong, and how complex right and wrong should be, or even if those ideas exist for real or for convention?
What happens when your heart wants a thing, but that isn't the right thing? Is your secret heart saying it's not the right thing, or the part of you that adheres to convention? Why does your heart want that thing?
When does one start or stop blaming someone else for one's choices? When is it okay to blame choices on someone else's choices? Those answers could get pretty complex.
I've made nearly thirty years of choices in my life. Some of them have been back-breakingly difficult. Some of them have been so fun that I want to make those choices again.
Today I am thinking of some of the big choices that brought me to sit here, by my computer, and have a break from writing other things. I received an email from a student from my semester of student teaching that warmed my heart - a very appropriate email, as a disclaimer because I know there have been some choices made by people that make that disclaimer necessary, which is a rant I don't feel like raging at the moment.
Middle school was the beginning of the end for me, as for many people with whom I've talked. I was anti-school for many years, and had to work really hard to heal from some experiences I picked up at school. My life would be very different if it wasn't for MEAP money (that no longer exists), and various other seemingly random events and conversations that redirected me back to the world of education. The email I received supports my choice to become a teacher, and my heart agrees. There is so much beauty in each student I meet (and I'm sure in the ones I haven't met). Sometimes life makes that beauty difficult to see, but it is there. I know my beauty was tarnished greatly by school, and I got really good at hiding, and thinking my thoughts weren't as good as someone else's thoughts. My journey to becoming a teacher healed me in many ways, including understanding why some things were the way they were because I was able to see from a teacher perspective. Some things would have been nice to hear their explanation as a student. The point is, I am excited to soon enough pick the teacher hat back up, and do my ongoing best to provide opportunities to reveal student beauty to themselves (in case they forgot or didn't realize), each other (in case they didn't know), and the world (because sharing beauty, inner beauty, makes the world continuously a more beautiful place). Maybe I'm just idealisty. At the same time, when my insides are feeling beautiful, I find my choices are easier to make, or heal from. My eyes are more open to seeing beautiful opportunities. Stretching and a big glass of water in the morning before coffee, and coffee, help.
Here's to beautiful choices.
What happens when your heart wants a thing, but that isn't the right thing? Is your secret heart saying it's not the right thing, or the part of you that adheres to convention? Why does your heart want that thing?
When does one start or stop blaming someone else for one's choices? When is it okay to blame choices on someone else's choices? Those answers could get pretty complex.
I've made nearly thirty years of choices in my life. Some of them have been back-breakingly difficult. Some of them have been so fun that I want to make those choices again.
Today I am thinking of some of the big choices that brought me to sit here, by my computer, and have a break from writing other things. I received an email from a student from my semester of student teaching that warmed my heart - a very appropriate email, as a disclaimer because I know there have been some choices made by people that make that disclaimer necessary, which is a rant I don't feel like raging at the moment.
Middle school was the beginning of the end for me, as for many people with whom I've talked. I was anti-school for many years, and had to work really hard to heal from some experiences I picked up at school. My life would be very different if it wasn't for MEAP money (that no longer exists), and various other seemingly random events and conversations that redirected me back to the world of education. The email I received supports my choice to become a teacher, and my heart agrees. There is so much beauty in each student I meet (and I'm sure in the ones I haven't met). Sometimes life makes that beauty difficult to see, but it is there. I know my beauty was tarnished greatly by school, and I got really good at hiding, and thinking my thoughts weren't as good as someone else's thoughts. My journey to becoming a teacher healed me in many ways, including understanding why some things were the way they were because I was able to see from a teacher perspective. Some things would have been nice to hear their explanation as a student. The point is, I am excited to soon enough pick the teacher hat back up, and do my ongoing best to provide opportunities to reveal student beauty to themselves (in case they forgot or didn't realize), each other (in case they didn't know), and the world (because sharing beauty, inner beauty, makes the world continuously a more beautiful place). Maybe I'm just idealisty. At the same time, when my insides are feeling beautiful, I find my choices are easier to make, or heal from. My eyes are more open to seeing beautiful opportunities. Stretching and a big glass of water in the morning before coffee, and coffee, help.
Here's to beautiful choices.